What You Always Wanted To Know About Sex
Sex isn't always at earth shattering as Mills & Boons novels say it is. There are often problems, pain and psychological issues to deal with. Here, we've put together a list of 10 frequently asked questions women have about sex, and got our sexologist Dr Raj Brahmbhat to answer them.
Q: How do you tackle with pain during intercourse?A: If the pain is there at the time of intercourse, it can be due to local causes (surface area) or problems deep down (pelvic region). Use a good lubricating cream like KY jelly as well as an anaesthetic ointment.
There are several reasons for pain during intercourse. Newly married women will feel pain during initial intercourse; lack of lubrication due to less foreplay can also give rise to pain as can an infection in the vagina or pelvic region. Also hormonal changes during menopause cause the vaginal lining to become thin and one is prone to infections which can give rise to pain during intercourse.
Q: Does a ruptured hymen indicate the loss of virginity? How can one hide their previous sexual relations from their future partners?A: It's not possible to tell whether a woman is a virgin or not. There's no way a man can find out whether a woman has had sex with a previous partner unless she decides to tell him. The hymen can break due to various reasons like running or playing sports.
Q: How can I get pregnant? What should I do to ensure conception?
Q: How do you tackle with pain during intercourse?A: If the pain is there at the time of intercourse, it can be due to local causes (surface area) or problems deep down (pelvic region). Use a good lubricating cream like KY jelly as well as an anaesthetic ointment.
There are several reasons for pain during intercourse. Newly married women will feel pain during initial intercourse; lack of lubrication due to less foreplay can also give rise to pain as can an infection in the vagina or pelvic region. Also hormonal changes during menopause cause the vaginal lining to become thin and one is prone to infections which can give rise to pain during intercourse.
Q: Does a ruptured hymen indicate the loss of virginity? How can one hide their previous sexual relations from their future partners?A: It's not possible to tell whether a woman is a virgin or not. There's no way a man can find out whether a woman has had sex with a previous partner unless she decides to tell him. The hymen can break due to various reasons like running or playing sports.
Q: How can I get pregnant? What should I do to ensure conception?
How to have sex to ensure pregnancy cannot be explained over the internet. However, some things can be kept in mind:
1) Sex is a learning process
2) Begin to explore each other's private parts
3) If you want to get pregnant, don't use condoms or lubricants
4) Any position is okay for conceiving
5) The best time to conceive is on the 14th day from the first day of the start of your period
6) Ask your husband to buy an illustrated sex book that you two can read through.
Q: Is masturbating with finger in vagina unhealthy or harmful?A: Masturbating with your fingers is quite safe. But before doing so, make sure that you wash your hands. See to it that your nails are also cut. Never douche the vagina. Also don't wash it with harsh anti-septic soaps. Some people use hand-gloves, because it provides hygiene.
Q: Is a white discharge a matter of worry?A: Discharge can occur when a person is sexually excited and in some women, it can occur before the menstruation period. Sometimes, it can occur during sleep as well. It can be due to bacterial or fungal infection. If it smells bad, then you need to go to your gynaecologist.
Q: Is oral sex normal and safe?A: Be aware that the law in our country does not permit oral sex. It is a punishable offence under the Indian Penal Code. That said, as long as the two of you enjoy the act, it's perfectly fine. You need to maintain hygiene in your vaginal area. If you have pubic hair, make sure you shampoo it. Oral sex is considered one of the variations of sex. Most men love it, and if a man isn't suffering from any STD, then it's quite safe.
Q: What should one do if her husband/boyfriend is not interested in having sex?A: You need to talk things through with your partner and ask him what the problem is and why he's not interested in sex. Professional pressures can take a toll on people. If he is professionally inclined, perhaps pressures from that end may be the reason. Explain to him that if you can't solve this problem, then it will lead to a variety of problems in your married life. Once you know the reason, you can either see a marriage counsellor or a sexologist.
Q: Can you have sex during pregnancy?
A: Yes, you can have sex, provided you have consulted with your gynaecologist and he/she has given the all clear. You also need to know where the placenta is. Your gynaecologist will have to do a sonography and do the required diagnosis before giving you the thumbs up.
Q: What are the best contraceptive pills? How are they better than others? A: It's better to use a condom to prevent pregnancy. However, to consume the right low-dose pills, you need to consult your family doctor or gynaecologist. Only after a check up can those pills can be prescribed. If you have had a medical history of jaundice or other such illness the pills may not be prescribed.
Q: How can you tighten the vagina?A: In case you want to tighten your vagina, you can ask your gynaecologist for information. Either your doctor or plastic surgeon can do reconstruction of vagina. You can also opt for hymeno-plasty to tighten it.
1) Sex is a learning process
2) Begin to explore each other's private parts
3) If you want to get pregnant, don't use condoms or lubricants
4) Any position is okay for conceiving
5) The best time to conceive is on the 14th day from the first day of the start of your period
6) Ask your husband to buy an illustrated sex book that you two can read through.
Q: Is masturbating with finger in vagina unhealthy or harmful?A: Masturbating with your fingers is quite safe. But before doing so, make sure that you wash your hands. See to it that your nails are also cut. Never douche the vagina. Also don't wash it with harsh anti-septic soaps. Some people use hand-gloves, because it provides hygiene.
Q: Is a white discharge a matter of worry?A: Discharge can occur when a person is sexually excited and in some women, it can occur before the menstruation period. Sometimes, it can occur during sleep as well. It can be due to bacterial or fungal infection. If it smells bad, then you need to go to your gynaecologist.
Q: Is oral sex normal and safe?A: Be aware that the law in our country does not permit oral sex. It is a punishable offence under the Indian Penal Code. That said, as long as the two of you enjoy the act, it's perfectly fine. You need to maintain hygiene in your vaginal area. If you have pubic hair, make sure you shampoo it. Oral sex is considered one of the variations of sex. Most men love it, and if a man isn't suffering from any STD, then it's quite safe.
Q: What should one do if her husband/boyfriend is not interested in having sex?A: You need to talk things through with your partner and ask him what the problem is and why he's not interested in sex. Professional pressures can take a toll on people. If he is professionally inclined, perhaps pressures from that end may be the reason. Explain to him that if you can't solve this problem, then it will lead to a variety of problems in your married life. Once you know the reason, you can either see a marriage counsellor or a sexologist.
Q: Can you have sex during pregnancy?
A: Yes, you can have sex, provided you have consulted with your gynaecologist and he/she has given the all clear. You also need to know where the placenta is. Your gynaecologist will have to do a sonography and do the required diagnosis before giving you the thumbs up.
Q: What are the best contraceptive pills? How are they better than others? A: It's better to use a condom to prevent pregnancy. However, to consume the right low-dose pills, you need to consult your family doctor or gynaecologist. Only after a check up can those pills can be prescribed. If you have had a medical history of jaundice or other such illness the pills may not be prescribed.
Q: How can you tighten the vagina?A: In case you want to tighten your vagina, you can ask your gynaecologist for information. Either your doctor or plastic surgeon can do reconstruction of vagina. You can also opt for hymeno-plasty to tighten it.
